I think I want to go back. I’m sick of Camarillo again. Chances are, I’ll probably hate it when I’m there – but whatever happens, happens. I guess I’m never satisfied. I need excitement. Stimulation. Something that makes life worth living. My current situation is just too suffocating. You’re probably asking yourself, “Jon, why don’t you hang out with a few friends…?”
Well, I tried that. That’s fun and all, but after a while, it’s just too predictable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you get what I mean. Friends will be friends and you’ll go through the same routine. I’ll target two people in particular that I saw this week.
Ed. He’s a guy that can make me laugh no matter what. We talk about his life, mostly my life, superficial crap, problems – whatever. On one of those rare occasions that he does come over, we typically film a video (for school or some other project), talk or (just this week) play Wii – or rather, attempt at it. I guess our incompetence at everything that we try makes me crack up. We have a good past that never fails to make either of us laugh once we bring it back up. Too many funny memories to share, but suffice to say – our abnormalities and inability to fit in make for some pretty damn funny moments. He’s literally one of the few people that can make me laugh till tears run from my eyes – and if you know me, that’s pretty damn hard to do.
Jennifer. Somewhat same routine here. We talk about her life, my life, interesting scenarios – you get the idea. She uses my computers, checks Tumblr and Facebook while I go around cleaning or organizing things. She shows me interesting YouTube videos, Tumblr posts and I mostly listen. She also likes to take pictures of herself on my mobile devices and uses said pictures as my wallpapers – which makes for some interesting conversations with family members, but I digress. It’s common for friends to do, according to those on Omegle. I guess my newbness is showing there. But when all is said and done, the roles are reversed in comparison to Ed.
Ed listens to me, I listen to Jennifer. I like the way this works. You need someone you can vent to or talk to in times of trouble – and while it’s true, the roles can be reversed (I listen to Ed, Jennifer listens to me), it doesn’t always feel quite right or as fluid. Don’t get me wrong, I like listening to Ed and venting to Jennifer, but it feels like it isn’t always there. I’m trying to word this so I don’t sound inconsiderate, but I’m really at a loss for words.
But really, beyond those two specific examples, there’s not much happening with my life. Sure, there’s college, but that’s not really all that interesting to me at the moment. I need some excitement. A thrill. Hanging out with friends suppresses that need, but when they leave, it’s still there. I’ve tried finding it in Los Angeles and I’ve tried finding it here. Both places don’t satisfy it. I really don’t know. I mean, just come to my room. I have three computers, an iPhone and an iPad, a television, movies, stereo… I have all the entertainment one could crave, yet it still doesn’t fill that void.
Oh well. I guess it’s true. Money can’t buy happiness. It can stimulate it for a short while, but it can never satisfy that void completely.